Perfectionism - playing to win or playing to avoid losing?

Interesting snippet on the radio today talking about perfectionism . Apparently it is not universally bad nor simple!

Recent studies* suggest that 'perfectionism' comes in (at least) two flavours, and has very different personal impact. The 'self-oriented perfectionist' is the sort of person who set themselves high standards, and get a buzz from pulling off a difficult task and doing it well. This in turn seems to enhance their sense of self-esteem and personal motivation, which spurs them on to continue striving to be their best.

By contrast the 'social-oriented perfectionist' has (real or imaginary) standards set for them by others.  They get much less pleasure from their efforts and tend to view their work as inadequate or inferior and report experiencing external pressure or coercion to accomplish tasks. This sort of person is driven not from an internally felt desire to be their best, but more from a fear of failure . A very different place to operate from!

So what sort of perfectionist are you? Psychology Today have a nice quiz if you are interested! Click here for a link to their questionnaire.

*Kilbert, J.J., Langhinrichsen-Rohling, J., & Saito, M. (2005). Adaptive and maladaptive aspects of self-oriented versus socially prescribed perfectionism. Journal of College Student Development, 46, 141-156.

Fixed mindset or Growth mindset?

I've just been reading Carol Dweck book 'Mindset'. According to Carol's research humanity come in two basic flavours - those with a 'fixed mindset' and those with a 'growth mindset'. The fixed mindset is characterised by a limiting belief that that personal abilities are finite or fixed. This shows up as an all consuming goal to prove oneself - every situation calls for a confirmation of intelligence, personality or character. Every situation is evaluated: "Will I succeed or fail? Will I look smart or dumb? Will I be accepted or rejected?" In contrast the growth mindset is based on belief that your basic qualities can be cultivated with a bit of effort - everyone can change and grow given application and the right experience.
I've often wondered about this - without knowing this research - observing how people respond to being thrown into new situations in the training room. There are those seem to need to be perfect before they even try to develop their skills and reticent to just 'give it a go' in for fear of making mistakes and getting it wrong. Others seem much more able to just pitch in and take the learning, unafraid to hear feedback or reflect on their gaffs. Job one for the facilitator is therefore making it ok to 'fail' and not set expectations of perfection.
Don't you love it when you find an idea that fits observable facts?

Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: how you can fulfil your potential London: Constable & Robinson Ltd.

The curse of perfectionism - issues in coaching

I was recently called in to work with a team who by any objective measure could be described as ‘high-performing’. They were leaders in their industry, consistently produced great results and had the respect of their peers and customers alike. However, far from basking in the much justified praise they received from all quarters, this was one of the most miserable and least satisfied teams I have ever encountered. All they could see was how much they had yet to do, and worst still, they saw each other as rivals and competitors. They were in very real danger of fracturing as a group and destroying their hard won reputation.

None of this made too much sense until it occurred to me that this was a group cursed with perfectionism. They had impossibly high standards for themselves – nothing less than perfection was good enough them and even perfection probably didn’t cut it. Rather than motivating them, their self imposed expectations were leading to paralysis, inaction and in-fighting. What really made the difference for this group was discovering – to their huge surprise-  that they all carried a strong sense of failure and under-achievement, and assumed that their peers were more able/bright/together (fill in the blank) than they were. And strangely enough just by being able to see their assumptions they were able to start the conversation to fix the situation. 

So... where are you expecting of yourself? Progress or perfection?